Date: 21/01/12 02:57:21 pm Title: Meeting Butler
1) Artemis would NEVER EVER EVER call his parents mom and dad willingly, and so casually.
2) Butler would NEVER EVER EVER leave Artemis like that. He is the bodyguard, after all.
3) You might want to start a new paragraph every time someone els e starts talking, so you don't have quotation marks touching.
4) Um... ideas, ideas...Maybe one chapter from the murderers' point of view. Or maybe one of the bodyguards survived. Or a flashback about what happened with the murders. As a reader, I'd definitely like to know who the other Butler was somewhere. You obviously don't have to take my advice, just a suggestion.
Date: 29/10/09 10:45:51 pm Title: Meeting Butler
noooooo!!!! why does juliet have to dieeeee!!!!!!
[Report This]Date: 24/01/09 01:01:56 pm Title: Home Sweet Home
lol veary good! i love it accept for the fact arty always calls his mother mother insted of mom
Date: 12/05/08 06:21:27 pm Title: Home Sweet Home
*laugh at anonymouslt writeing Opal*
[Report This]Date: 12/05/08 02:02:59 am Title: Author's Note
10 for the head bang minus 2 for the shouting(mwhaha)
Date: 10/05/08 08:10:10 am Title: Home Sweet Home
OPALS FRICKEN WEIRD!!!
Author's Response: ...........................?
Date: 05/05/08 07:28:00 pm Title: Home Sweet Home
*cry* WHY?
[Report This]Date: 04/05/08 11:04:24 am Title: Author's Note
I think MINERVA SHOULD OF BEEN IN THE STORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Date: 30/04/08 05:17:14 pm Title: Home Sweet Home
*snarl* Can I kill him?
Author's Response: no.
[Report This]Date: 25/04/08 04:47:22 pm Title: Author's Note
heyy! ure doin great so far! heres a tip: try thinking of how butlers encounter with the four killers could be. lets say artemis, butler, and holly are strolling down the street and butler seems to recognze on of the killers. He follows the killer to a secret place and there things unfold.
hope it helps any!
Author's Response:
HI oPAL. iF u ArE hEr.